My Quarter-Life Crisis

Today I am taking Lauren’s Journey back to its roots with a personal post. If you keep up with my blog (which I truly appreciate, thank you!) you probably have noticed my lack of posts. I created an editorial calendar prior to the start of the school year and had over two months of posts planned out. I clearly have not followed through with publishing posts on time, much less writing any posts on time. Editorial calendars aren’t helpful when you’re not motivated to blog. Planning ahead is far easier than actually following through with a plan.

I still love blogging and the blogging community and hope to get back on track soon. However, even when I have had the time to sit down and write a post, I haven’t felt motivated to. Folks, I think I am going through a quarter-life crisis.

I had a rough junior year and now I only have one year left to redeem my tarnished GPA. My once-high grades plummeted as I went through the worst bout of anxiety and depression in my life. I am happy and grateful to say that I am now in a much better state of mind. I am once again able to concentrate on my school work and am doing well in my classes. So, why am I considering this time period to be my quarter-life crisis? Shouldn’t that be last year?

What am I doing with my life?

This is my last year of being a college undergraduate and soon I have to enter the real world. In one of my recent posts, I discussed possible post-graduate plans. I recently came to the realization that neither of those plans is feasible.

Taking a gap-year is still something that I am considering, however, it would be unrealistic to continue living in Massachusetts. I am currently paying for my rent through student loans and will most likely not be making enough at an entry-level job to live away from home. As for my other plan, it would be difficult to transfer my degree back to the United States from the United Kingdom. It would also be extremely pricey to move there. As much as I would love to live in Massachusetts or in Scotland, I don’t think it is realistic within the next few years.

My new set of goals

After realizing my original plans were not going to work out, I panicked and signed up for the GRE. I decided that I wanted to apply to graduate school for the upcoming fall. I am mainly considering schools that I can commute to from my parents’ home in New Jersey, a more fiscally responsible decision. I want to attain a Masters degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. My career goal is to become a licensed therapist and work with survivors of domestic violence. For the first time, I feel confident in what I want to do with my future.

So, what’s the problem?

Deadlines for graduate school are quickly approaching and I am not prepared. With my tanked GPA, I am no longer a competitive candidate for the programs I am applying to. While I am involved on campus and have an internship, I do not have experience in research labs or being a teaching assistant. I have also not developed close relationships with my professors throughout my time at UMass.

I am hoping that in my personal statements I will be able to explain my inconsistent grades. Since I have no experience with graduate school, I don’t know how much this will affect my admission into programs. I can only cross my fingers and hope that they will not judge me based on my GPA as a whole. I hope that they will consider what I went through and the strong road to recovery I am on now. I hope that they will consider my strong grades from my first two years, this blog that I started myself, my involvement in extracurriculars that are related to my career goals, and my passion for mental health advocacy.

Where life is taking me next

Despite my setbacks, I am still determined to apply to programs for the upcoming fall. I am working hard to bring up my GPA and to study for the GRE. I have no clue whether I will get in or not which is causing me to majorly stress. When I was applying for undergraduate programs, I knew I would get in somewhere. Graduate school is an entirely different ballpark. This time next year I could not be in school for the first time since I was four. It all depends on admissions.

If I don’t get in, I will most likely move back to New Jersey and apply to entry-level jobs in the mental health field and re-apply for admission the next academic year.

Where Lauren’s Journey is headed

Now that you all know what has been going on in my life, I hope you can forgive my short absence from my blog. I have so many ideas of what to write about and I hope to get back to consistently posting once a week. Since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I plan on writing a post about it for next week. Besides that, you readers can look forward to more posts about college and mental health!

If you stuck through that long, personal post, I thank you for following my journey!